Arrows//Glory
Currently, as I write this, America is in a pseudo-war with Iran. Don’t ask me about the what or why, because I have no idea. One thing I know to be true is that neither America nor Iran would aimlessly shoot missiles. No, they would choose a strategic target and point that firepower at that specific target.
The same is true spiritually. Pay attention to the long-standing wounds and insecurities in your life. They have so much to tell us if we are willing to hear. Why? Because the places where the Enemy’s arrows have found their mark are the exact places where you most image the glory of God. Again, specific arrows for a specific target. The enemies of God are have finite resources, time and manpower. They are not going to fire shotgun shells just crossing their fingers that one BB finds its mark. No! They see the glory of your Father in you, which they hate, and they fire a very specific set of arrows (Eph. 6:16) to diminish, steal or kill that glory.
For as long as I can remember I have had anxiety attached to my voice. I have led worship for many years, and I always felt anxious before leading worship. That makes sense to be anxious for something performance-related, but I am talking about anxiety about speaking up in general, about taking up space, raising my hand, talking about my opinions and perspectives. I felt shame about myself and it manifested as anxiety when I told anyone else about a piece of me—not only my brokenness, but my passions, excitement, interest, thoughts…Arrow #1—let’s call that arrow My Voice.
Arrow #2 is my sensitive, deeply feeling heart. My older brother was stereotypical boy: sports, girls, and anger his primary emotion. Anger expressed in cutting remarks and physical aggression. I was mostly a stereotypical boy as well, but my anger, fears, and even my joys were involuntarily often expressed in tears. This was exploited and became something I loathed about myself and held deep shame for. I also was incredibly sensitive to music and movies. Anything that felt “dark” struck a wrong chord in my body, and I could not join in with what seemed for other boys to be harmless fun. At 14, if I had the chance, I would’ve hardened my heart to avoid the shame of looking weak. I tried but was unsuccessful thankfully.
Fast forward to current day: I am now a therapist who constantly has to use my voice to speak my mind, opinions, feelings and thoughts. In other words, in order for me to be effective in my job it requires that I share myself with others. The second necessity for my job is a heart that is both strong and sensitive. Without my ability to deeply feel I wouldn’t know how to be a therapist. It is my ability to feel the experience of another and then to voice its impact on me that gives me deep connection with the people in my life. These are the unique ways I embody the glory of my Father, and as I look back on my story, those two parts of me were under assault from a young age. Coincidence?? Nope.
Where have the arrows found their mark in you? What are the recurring fears, anxieties, insecurities you carry around with you? When do you feel most anxious and afraid? What does this tell you about your glory? How do these arrows point to the epicenter of God’s unique fingerprint on your life?
Those who have courage to hear what the arrows have to say, let them hear.
